“These days when I think about the parts that make me whole, I immediately think of my family. But I need to remember that before them, I was still someone. I dug out my “special chest” for the first time in a long time and started to remember the person who got me to who I am now.
Inside this chest, there are letters from far away friends, photographs, mementos of experiences small and big – some I don’t even remember. Back then I kept everything because I wanted to hold on to those moments. I wrote everything in my journals, and when I read those now I can see a part of me that no longer exists. I was desperate to fit in, scared to let go yet dreamed of a bigger life.
Back then I often felt alone and didn’t realize what I had because I was too focused on what I didn’t have. Yes, I have regrets. But at the same time, if I wasn’t that girl I wouldn’t be who I am now. Every little moment, every object in that box, every word I wrote, brought me here to this wonderful life I have.
My daughters might be too young to understand right now, but someday they will appreciate being able to get a glimpse of who their mom was. Maybe it will help them get through when they are feeling lost and alone.”