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We found out last week that we are expecting baby #2.

We are thrilled beyond words, of course, but are also struggling with some fears. Last Thanksgiving I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. So understandably, this time around it is still in the back of our minds.

But before I get ahead of myself, I want to explain. I have decided that I am going to blog throughout my pregnancy. I want to document it for myself and my family, but also because I am the kind of person who finds comfort in writing down how I feel. I am not good at keeping things inside and I thrive on the support of my friends and family. Some people like to keep the news of their pregnancy quiet until they know things are ok, and in the past that’s what I’ve done too. But I realized after what we went through in the fall that I want people to know because if something does go wrong, I need support from the people that care about me. I was amazed at how many people I know have gone through it too, but people don’t talk about it. I want to talk about it because I know how important it is to have that support and to know you’re not alone. Maybe by being open right from the start, I can give strength to someone else who has gone through this.

So, this time around I made sure to see my doctor immediately after peeing on the stick and seeing the little pink lines, and I went for blood work the next day. I’m going to make this long story short, but we found out that I am carrying an antibody called Anti-Kell (or Anti-K). Michael was sent for blood work immediately, however I did not know exactly why.

I had to do some digging, and discovered that information on Anti-K is not widely available. Much of what I found came from medical journals that were very confusing. The rest was from online forums and discussions. I am not sure how reliable that information is, but at this point it’s all I have. Basically it’s a rare antigen that destroys red blood cells. If the father of the baby is negative for the antigen, everything should be fine. But if he is positive, the antigen could be passed on to the baby which could mean lots of monitoring, complications such as the baby being anemic.

I have an appointment in two weeks, but until then I have no idea what is going to happen. I’m praying that everything is ok. I want so bad to be excited, but between what happened last time to all of the unknowns before us, it’s hard.

There are many good moments, and one of them is whenever I tell Sofia that mommy has a baby in her belly, she runs over and pulls up my shirt. Then she looks up at me with confusion in her eyes and shakes her head and says “no baby!” That little girl gives me all my strength and I’m so thankful for that.

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